I have had a vision of what my wedding would look like my whole life. I knew I would have a knight in white armor come and take me to a beautiful home in the country after we honeymooned on a beach filled with white sands as far as the eye could see. As I have grown up I have made adjustments to my dream so it is more feasible but still there is a white knight! My fiance fills that role perfectly. He is always wanting to help me to make life easier for me. He says I make things far more complicated then need be. I realize I can complicate things but some things are simply complicated. I knew what I wanted for wedding favors so I bought them. Then I have to address how to present them. He feels the guests will not notice the packaging as much as I think they will. I feel the packaging should be associated with our wedding theme. He feels that is way too complicated and does not require so much detail. I appreciate how he sometimes brings my head out of the clouds as I drift way too far into things but this time I feel I am right. I think we need to bring my mom into this to settle it. He feels like that is one more complication we do not need. I suppose he is right in some ways but I am in others. My mom will set this right as she always has throughout my life.
When we announced we were getting married we sent invitations to all of our friends and family. Even those that lived abroad. Because my family is Scottish we had a lot of invites going out that were more of an announcement than what we expected to be an actual invitation. However we were shocked to see many of my family members coming across the ocean for our wedding. My aunt could not make it so she sent us the most awesome gift. We had ordinary napkins chosen for our wedding tables. She sent us custom personalized napkins that knocked our socks off. They were green, black and white plaid. Our names were embroidered on them in gold threads. She sent some small ones as well as some that were larger that made great hand towels for the restrooms. My fiance actually cried when we opened the box. What an amazing gift that was for us. It was so thoughtful and it touched our hearts. We sat down instantly to write a thank you card to her. Once the wedding was underway we had so many of our guests tell us how beautiful the napkins were. When we returned from our honeymoon we sent one more thank you note just letting my aunt know how much that meant to us and how much we appreciated it. We also put in the note how taken every one was with the napkins! I know she was happy.
The day of the wedding we were still hoping my sisters would both show up. My daughter and her fiance had decided to have their wedding in a grave yard which did not go over big with my family. There are only my two sisters and I left from my side of the family so when one of them does not show up it will be ever obvious. I hoped that would not happen for Andrea’s but I suspected it would. Everything was in place. The personalized napkins were on the reception tables and the flowers were all set up perfectly. Just as I had thought may happen did happen. My one sister came and brought all of her children. Andrea and I were so glad to see them. It meant a lot to us. The other sister did not come or communicate with us at all. It left Andrea heart broken but we could not focus on that. It was a beautiful wedding. It was short if I had a complaint but it was very enjoyable. I was so proud of my daughter. She sticks to what she believes and hopes everyone will understand. I find it sad that love did not bring my other sister to her wedding. It was not us that lost out on that one. It is sad to see such judgement within our own family but it does happen every day. Perhaps one day people will actually have a dialogue with someone about their concerns before they judge.
It is hard to believe it is time to pick our wedding invitations but as luck would have it the time is now. We have been waiting for so long for Ben to be stationed within our borders. He has been in the military for so long. We met while he was in the military and I understood that I had to be patient for our wedding. We knew we would get married we just did not know when. We both were in the military when we first met. I did not re-enlist and began my career. He wanted to be in the military for his career. He had always had that dream and I respect him for it but I wanted him to be stationed at home as soon as he was comfortable with it so our lives could combine and we live a civilian lifestyle and not a military one! The time is now and we could not all be more excited. We plan on a wedding and children within the first year. I know we act like teenagers when we are together but the excitement of beginning our lives at this point makes us both giggle! I love it. We have to pick out the right invitations but first we have to have a theme. I hope we can get that from the choices of invitations. This is the first wedding for either of us even though we are in our thirties. So we take it one step and a time and love every minute of it!
It has been a long few days but we are almost ready for the big wedding event. My cousin is a stickler for details She wants everything to be chosen and then defined by details in her wedding plans. For instance, we chose the napkins and she loved them. She liked the colors and the sizes we chose. She then takes that decision a step further and has had them turned into personalized napkins. Now I like the idea of making them personalized but that is how she has done everything. The wine glasses were beautiful crystal. We loved them and the way they picked up the light all over the room. You can easily tell they are of high quality when you see them in the light and feel the weight of the glasses. She then had each of them etched. She just felt they needed one thing more. She did have the foresight to have “forever and always” etched on them instead of her initials. Since the guests will be keeping their glasses as favors it did not make sense to put her initials on all of their glasses. It is going to be a beautiful wedding. The details are something that I hope everyone notices. There was certainly a lot of thought placed behind each and every decision.
I can hear the music start to play and I know that is my signal to move. I make my way to the aisle to begin my walk as my father takes my hand. My father is my unsung hero. He is always there for me. He does not take any of the spot light but if I need anything or if something amazing happens in my life all I have to do is look around and my dad has done something to make it happen. That is how he is. I love him so much as he loves me. We just connect on every level. We always have. Today is a huge day for me but for my dad as well. I can see in his eyes it just hit him how emotional this day is. He has been helping with the wedding decorations by building and installing things for our guests so he has not had a minute to think but now it all came to light for him. Tears are in his big strong eyes as he kisses me on my cheek. I can feel his strong grip shaking as he fights the emotions that have just come over him. I grip him to steady his arm as he holds on to me this time. It feels great to know I am here for him this time as he has always been for me. As we reach the end of the aisle and my dad passes my arm to my fiance he smiles at me and says, ” He will now be your rock.” I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. Although no one could replace my dad my fiance has the same strong qualities that my dad embraces. I suppose that is what drew me to him.
We all know planning a wedding can be a lot of work. We have seen the horror stories on TV. There are actually shows that feature brides that are ruling the world and parents that have way over stepped their boundaries battling for the right to make final decisions on their weddings. It is a sad thing to see such a rift within a family over anything from wedding favors to tablecloths.Of course it makes for good TV if that is what you like to watch! Our wedding was very different. We have a large family by some standards. We all worked together in orchestrating our wedding. My wife and I actually did not have a lot to do in order to complete our plans. Once we had just one group meeting everyone else took their task and completed it in a timely manner as to have every thing done ahead of schedule. We had to pick out the clothes for every one and the brides dress but even with that we had help. It seemed everyone wanted to play their parts in our wedding. If there was something that needed to be changed it was changed willingly without any feedback. I have watched those horror shows and wondered why anyone would want to go through such trauma? After experiencing a wedding myself I can not imagine how much of those shows must actually be staged.
I have never planned a wedding before so I am really excited to see how it is all done. I am doing it on my own so I have to be really self reliant. This just fuels my fire. This is a wedding that I am planning for what could be my first client. I do think wedding planning could easily be my career choice. I like freedom and the ability this career gives in playing to my creative side. I have always been a creative person and feel most valued when I am being creative. I had forgotten that while working in a cubicle for 12 years. Now that I am back in the field of dealing with people on a one on one basis I am loving it. I am coming up with so many ideas. It is not difficult to find the things I need because we have the internet that is the perfect venue for anything I can not find. This is going to be the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. I have been able to make my vision realized for this wedding. So far I have not had a single glitch. I know one is coming but until it does I am enjoying the ride. I did not realize how stressful my old job was until I began this new career. Sometimes something has to push us from the nest to make us realize our dreams and that is exactly what happened to me. I could not be happier. Instead of piles of papers to file and sort I am surrounded by wedding favors and boxes to package them!
I don’t even fit the mold of “Forever a bridesmaid, never a bride.” My nametag should read, “normally a fiancé, never a bride.” I know that may sound a little twisted but maybe you can pick up on what I am trying to say. I seem to get engaged easily, I just don’t understand what happens during the middle part of bride-to-be and actual bride. This has happened to me three times. It is really hard to trust a man after being jilted three times. I remember on my third engagement I said “Well, three’s a charm!” Was I ever wrong. As a matter of fact, the last guy was the shortest engagement.
I am now determined not to ever marry. I am carrying a huge cart of baggage. Even going to look at the bridal gowns, cakes and personalized napkins stir up memories of the previous engagement. Just imagine standing before the mirror at the bridal shop with another wedding dress on. I think to myself that I liked the one I had picked out better on the last engagement. Isn’t that a horrible thought? I shouldn’t even reflect back on those hurtful moments but you can’t just throw them away. They are permanently engrained in your heart and memory forever.
I know my parents were just as frustrated. On my last engagement they deeply questioned me with those normal inquisitional statements “Are you sure this time honey?” I know what they really were implying was “We can’t afford to spend more money on another failure.” They are right, I never expected them to. I think they tried to make each one better than the last to mend my heart.
It is easy to understand why so many couples actually use wedding planners. Our wedding was going to be a small wedding to begin with. We had a small list of family and a few friends that were going to be invited. Then when we talked to our parents they felt we should include more people. When it was all said and done we had a really long list That was not a problem except we had ordered some of our supplies already. I would need to revise our orders on our personalized napkins and our wine glasses. I also think our seating may not work. I do not want to change locations so perhaps moving it outdoors would make more sense. I have seen many outdoor weddings that were beautiful. As our wedding plans have become more complicated with hotels needing to be contacted for our out of state guests and parking needing to be considered as well I think we need help. What was once a small cozy wedding has now become a social event. We are truly excited about the direction our wedding has taken. We did not imagine it this large but we like what we see.